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How to deal with infertility during the holidays

How to deal with infertility during the holidays

December 08, 2023

How to deal with infertility during the holidays

Navigating the holiday season with infertility can be tough at any time of the year, and for many, the festive period brings its unique set of challenges.

  • The inundation of social media posts showcasing friends and family partaking in cute traditions with their children can be a poignant reminder of what feels like an elusive dream.
  • The heightened stress of the holidays often exacerbates emotions, making it harder to cope.
  • Additionally, spending time with siblings and parents may serve as a stark reminder that your family hasn't expanded as anticipated.
  • Adding to the complexity are the well-intentioned queries from family and friends, some of whom may be unaware of your fertility journey, asking about your plans to have kids or expand your family further.

While these experiences can be disheartening, especially during a season that emphasizes togetherness and family, there are ways to navigate through it all. Even while feeling the weight of the void, there are steps you can take to ensure that you still find joy in festive activities and engage in the fun while respecting your own emotions. So, let's explore a few key reminders that might help you navigate the holiday season with greater ease this year.


1. Boundaries are healthy.

I'm a firm believer in the power of a simple yet profound phrase: "No is a complete sentence." Embracing this mantra is all about establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries. It's crucial to understand that boundaries are not selfish or mean; they're a constructive means of communicating what you're comfortable with and what you're not. Moreover, they protect others from the potential fallout of feeling unfairly treated. As we navigate the holiday season, setting boundaries becomes even more crucial.

How does this work in practice?

  • If there's a particular gathering that you find challenging to attend, it's perfectly okay to say no.
  • If someone poses a question that you lack the emotional capacity to answer, you have the right to refrain.
  • Feeling ready to leave an event that's still ongoing? Find a quiet space away from the crowd or make your exit.
Setting boundaries doesn't require grand gestures; a simple text message to communicate your limits ahead of an event can go a long way. By proactively defining your comfort zones, you empower yourself to navigate the holiday season with greater ease and authenticity.


2. Remember that the holidays don't last forever.

a couple having date night at home

If you're finding the holiday season particularly challenging, it's absolutely okay to take a step back and prioritize self-care. It's important to remember that the holidays, despite their intensity, are temporary. You have the permission to bunker down and focus on yourself and your partner because, in the grand scheme of things, the holiday festivities don't last forever. There will be ample opportunities to reconnect and make up for any absence once the holiday rush subsides.

3. Write down your feelings.

Try writing down your feelings in a journal, or to a friend or loved one. Writing down your individual experience and feelings may help you process emotions better and be able to articulate to others how, and what you're feeling. It's also a great opportunity for you to be completely honest with yourself, with no judgment.

4. Remember people care about you.

A woman journaling about her day and how she feels about her infertilityDuring moments of struggle, it can be challenging to recognize your worth and the value you hold in the eyes of others. Research indicates that a significant number of individuals grappling with infertility also contend with anxiety, depression, or a combination of both. It's important to acknowledge that even when you're feeling exhausted and not at your best, there are people who genuinely care about you.

Your family and friends likely have no intention of making you feel inadequate. Whether you choose to openly discuss your infertility or prefer to keep it private, remember that the love and support from your close ones remain steadfast.

Establishing boundaries, as discussed earlier, plays a role in preserving these relationships, ensuring that neither party inadvertently crosses lines that might strain the connection irreparably. You are not alone in your journey, and the connections you maintain can be a valuable source of strength and comfort.

5. Prioritize your energy and effort.

Prioritize where your energy and effort go. Do what is best for you and your partner. And above all, remember that you're allowed to do what you need to in order to get through the holiday season.

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